


A Victim Of Love

by TheShieldImagine



Category: Fanfiction - Fandom, WWE, WWE FanFiction, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Anal Sex, Domestic Violence, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Same Sex Intercourse, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Smut, Strong Language, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 05:14:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 19,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6502102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShieldImagine/pseuds/TheShieldImagine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seth is stuck in an abusive relationship with no hope of any way out but what he doesn't know is that his former teammates Dean and Roman are both head over heels in love with him. But what will happen when Roman finds out about Randy's abusive behavior and attempts to rescue Seth?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Please

**[Read on Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/story/68212163-a-victim-of-love-on-going) **

**[Read on Tumblr](http://theshieldimagine.tumblr.com/post/130749444080/series-stories-masterlist) **

 

Seth flinched as Randy's fist came in contact with his face, his eyes shut tight in fear as he took another beating from the man who had proclaimed to love him. It had became a routine, whenever Randy was drunk or upset he would take it out on Seth and over the years Seth had convinced himself that things would get better, that they were just going through a rough patch and that somewhere deep down inside of Randy's heart he still loved him. Seth's body was a map of bruises and scars, each one of them put there by Randy's own hands, each one triggering a bad memory as Randy slowly chipped away at Seth's spirit. He had become an expert at hiding it all, painting on a smile at work and acting like everything was fine when in reality, whenever he was alone he would cry until there were no more tears left. He remembered a time when they used to be happy, when Randy was a sweet, caring and loving boyfriend, when he couldn't ever imagine being with anyone else and those times felt like a lifetime ago now as he lived through the reality of an abusive relationship. Over time Seth began to believe everything Randy would say to him and he made him feel worthless, he made him feel like no one else would ever want him. He was damaged goods, a broken man with a broken body and he had convinced himself that no one would ever find him attractive ever again.

He used to find happiness, a brief respite with his former teammates Roman and Dean but since The Shield went their separate ways he had lost the two people that truly made him feel safe and wanted. He had joined The Authority on Randy's orders, had done it to keep him happy but he soon regretted his actions, he felt more secluded and alone than he had ever felt in his entire life and Randy made it clear early on that he didn't approve of Seth seeing or talking to his former teammates. In just a few short years he had successfully cut him off from his family and friends and now Seth had no other choice but to be completely reliant on Randy for his every need. He was a prisoner, a shadow, a much fainter and delicate version of his old self and he was unable to stop it. He had no fight left in him, every ounce of determination, self pride and defiance had been beaten out of him and he had slowly accepted that Randy was the best that he had, the best that he would ever have.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Roman sat back and observed just like he had done for weeks now, an unpleasant sensation coming over him as he watched Seth cower and look down at the floor whenever Randy was near by. At first he thought he was just imagining it, but he just couldn't shake the feeling that something serious was going on. Seth had become distant lately and when they crossed paths he couldn't even get Seth to talk to him, let alone make eye contact with him and it broke his heart. He was slowly watching Seth morph into a shadow of himself and Roman desperately wanted to help him, reach out to him, offer him anything he needed but he knew that in order to do that he would have to get Seth alone. He waited patiently, biding his time for a just over a week before he finally got his opportunity.

The first thing Roman noticed when he walked into the gym was that the place was empty, which was strange; the gym was never empty even at the earliest of hours and as Roman searched for Seth he heard the distant sound of crying coming from one of the changing rooms. He followed the sound and gently opened the door, his eyes widening as he was confronted by the sight of Seth huddled up on one of the benches, his knees brought up to his chest as he rocked back and forth slightly, his head buried between his legs as he sobbed, his whole body shaking

''Seth?''

Seth's head shot up at the sound of Roman's voice and he quickly stood up from the bench, wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt as he picked up his gym bag and tried to leave the room

''Hey wait a second'' Roman said, placing a hand on his shoulder

Seth tensed up and Roman quickly removed his hand as Seth desperately avoided making eye contact ''You can't be here Roman, no one is supposed to be here, you can't, I can't, Randy will be here any second, if he catches you he'll - please just leave Roman I can't''

''Calm down'' Roman interrupted gently taking hold of Seth's chin, titling it upwards, forcing Seth to look at him ''Talk to me, tell me what's wrong''

Panic started to set in and for a moment Seth was completely frozen to the spot. He couldn't remember the last time someone had looked at him like Roman was looking at him right now, he almost forgot what affection looked like in someone else's eyes but right at that moment Roman was reminding him, he wanted to tell Roman everything, let him hold him close until all his broken pieces came back together again but he knew he couldn't

''Seth'' Roman whispered as one of his fingers lightly caressed Seth's cheek

Seth's eyes closed at the sensation before he caught a hold of himself and backed away from him ''You don't know what you're talking about Roman'' Seth spat as he pushed past him and quickly made his way towards the exit

''I know _you_ Seth and I know that something's not right'' Roman replied running to catch up with him

''You don't know anything Roman you haven't got the slightest clue what I'm going through'' Seth replied

''Then tell me'' Roman said, almost begging as he placed a hand on the door, blocking Seth's path

 _Do you actually think he cares, he doesn't care about you why would he?_ Seth's mind was provoking him as he starred up at Roman. His heart began to pound and his breathing sped up as he began to panic

''You can't'' Seth managed in between heavy breaths

''I can't what? What's going on?'' Roman's response came out a little bit harsher than he wanted it to and he instantly regretted it when Seth winched at his tone of voice

''You can't be around me'' Seth added before pushing his way out of the room


	2. It's Seth

Roman was shaken up, seeing Seth in such a state effected him more than he would like to admit. The man had his heart, he had done ever since they met in NXT and what had started out as an innocent need to protect him had now turned into something else all together. He was in deep, he loved him with every fiber of his being and although he tried to fight how he felt at first, the attraction eventually won. He was in a daze as he made his way back to his locker room, he just couldn't get the image of Seth curled up on the bench, crying out of his head. In the seven years they had known each other, he had not once seen Seth cry.

''Hey bro''

Roman didn't even hear Dean come in, he didn't even hear him knock, all he could think about was Seth, the terrified look in his eyes, the way he practically begged him to stay away from him

''Hello, earth to Roman!'' Dean said waving his hand in front of Roman's face, the gesture eventually catching his attention as he looked up at him

''Oh hi'' Roman mumbled with a forced smile

''Okay what's happened?'' Dean asked as he sat himself down next to Roman

''It's Seth'' Roman admitted as Dean tensed up beside him

Dean hadn't exactly been Seth's biggest fan since he joined The Authority, the two of them had barely spoken to each other and Roman had just put it down to Dean holding a grudge but the truth was that Dean was distancing himself from his former teammate for an entirely different reason, just like Roman, Dean had found himself feeling a certain way towards The Architect and he had figured that if he kept away from him, his feelings would subside.

''What about him?'' Dean asked, just the mere mention of Seth's name making his stomach twitch

''Something's going on with him, he's acting really odd and from what I can tell it has something to do with Randy'' Roman replied

Dean's face scrunched up with confusion ''Wait a second what do you mean something is going on with him?''

Roman turned around to face him and let out a sigh ''I noticed that he wasn't acting himself since joining The Authority and at first I thought it was just because he was in character but then I started to notice little things like how he'd always look at the floor whenever Randy was around and how he always seemed to be covered in bruises-''

''So what are you saying exactly?'' Dean interrupted

''I think Randy might be hurting him'' Roman stated

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seth was used to the beatings now but that didn't mean it hurt any less as his head came in contact with the cold tile floor of his locker room. Randy had been waiting for Seth when he got back from the gym and it didn't take him long to work out that he hadn't even broken a sweat. Randy always knew what Seth was doing even when he wasn't around so off course he knew all about Seth talking to Roman

''WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM HUH!?'' Randy spat, his mouth pressed up against Seth's ear as he grabbed hold of his hair, pulling on it slightly, forcing Seth to look him in the eye ''ANSWER ME''

Seth was frozen with fear, his voice failing him as he looked into the eyes of the man that he once loved, into the same eyes that he used to love to stare into, the same eyes that he used to see nothing but love reflected in

''Look at you! You're fucking useless'' Randy taunted, a sick smile spreading across his lips ''I don't even know why I put up with you. The only thing you're good for is laying on your back and taking it like the bitch you are''

It was true but Randy's words still stung. Sex had become an object of Randy's rage and Seth couldn't even remember the last time he had an orgasm. Randy was rough with him and after a while Seth had got used to the pain that came with unprotected, lube-free intercourse, he had learnt not to cry out, knowing that it would only spur Randy on; instead he just chose to lay down and take it silently, drifting off into another place inside his head until Randy was satisfied.

The kind and loving Randy would make a rare appearance occasionally and Seth lived day by day hoping to get another glimpse of him, of the man that he fell so hard for a year ago, believing, hoping that there was still a little bit of the old Randy hidden beneath the monster he had become. And despite his awful behavior, Seth still felt love for Randy, it may not be as strong as it used to be and it certainly wasn't as sweet and intoxicating, but it was still there.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean was unsure what to make of Roman's admission, just the thought of someone hurting Seth made him almost boil over with anger and he hoped that it wasn't true. I mean the Seth he knew would never be pushed around by someone

''Are you sure?'' Dean asked ''I mean I can't imagine Seth letting something like that happen to him''

''You didn't see him'' Roman replied ''You didn't see him curled up on that bench sobbing into his knees, he was broken bro, he was desperate, scared.''

Dean knew how Roman felt about Seth, he could see it in the way Roman looked at him, he recognized the signs because he was going through it himself but neither one of them had discussed it or admitted it to one another.

''Look if what you're saying is true then I want to help in any way that I can but first I need you to be completely honest with me about something'' Dean said, his tone turning serious

''About what?'' Roman asked

''Do you like Seth as more than just a friend?'' Dean asked

Roman's face confirmed his suspicions but he wanted to hear him say it ''I guess'' Roman replied after a few minutes of silence ''But why does that even matter?''

''Because I do too'' Dean admitted


	3. We're in room 302

[A few weeks later]

Randy had been extra careful not to let Seth out of his sight since what happened with him and Roman and if anything, Randy was even more aggressive; despite Seth's recent injury. He had torn his ACL, MCL and meniscus in his right knee and now he had been sidelined for up to 8 months. Seth had thought that Randy would ease up on him because of his current state but he soon learnt that he was wrong. Every night was the same, Randy would get drunk, start an argument and then take out all of his anger and frustration on Seth, and he just took it, he had no fight left in him anymore and he learnt a long time ago that fighting back was futile. He told himself that it wasn't Randy's fault, that it was just the alcohol speaking and that the next morning he would be different, but it never happened. Every part of him hurt, every one of his limps were bruised and his skin was a map of cuts, scratches and bites, all of them evidence of Randy's rough sex sessions. Every morning before his shower Seth would stare at himself in the bathroom mirror, hardly being able to recognize his own reflection, each one of his bruises triggering a memory of how and when it happened. The water was always hot, if anything too hot but for some reason Seth found it comforting, the hot water reddened his skin but he made no attempt to move out from underneath it, he didn't feel the pain anymore, he was numb. He had become a robot, a living breathing maid who attended to Randy's every want and need and he couldn't remember the last time he felt like he did something for himself, the last time he laughed, the last time he just relaxed and had fun.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a long discussion about their feelings towards Seth both Roman and Dean had agreed to not let it come between them and to try and help Seth however they could. They both cared about him a lot and they both wanted to get him away from Randy as soon as possible but they also knew that it wasn't going to be easy. They had to be smart about it, they had to wait until just the right time and most importantly they needed Seth's co-operation. They both noticed that Randy would often drag Seth along with him to nearly every show so one evening during Raw they put their plan into action. Roman and Dean watched the monitor in their shared locker room and waited for just the right moment to hatch their plan, stepping out just as Randy was making his entrance to the ring.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seth sat silently in Randy's locker room, his eyes starring down at the large cast on his leg. He already felt weak, useless and worthless and now to make matters worse he could hardly walk. He was so caught up in his own self pity that he didn't even hear the door open

''Hey''

His head shot up and he started to tear up as he saw Roman standing in the doorway. Roman and Dean had captured his heart many years ago during their time together in the Shield but he never did anything about it because he was already dating Randy.

''You can't be here Ro'' Seth muttered, defeated

''Listen to me'' Roman replied stepping in front of him ''I want to help you and so does Dean but we can't do this by ourselves''

 _I'm not worth it. I don't deserve any help_ Roman was his way out, his escape from the daily hell he had with Randy but all Seth could think about was that he could be back at any second. If Randy walked in on them his life wouldn't be worth living

''You can't be here Roman please just leave'' Seth managed as he began to panic, his chest heaving up and down as his breathing sped up

Roman looked directly into Seth's eyes and could see the same fear in them that was there last time they spoke, the same desperation and pain in his voice and he got the same unpleasant feeling in his stomach over seeing him in such a state.

''It's Randy isn't it?'' Roman asked, the mention of his lovers name catching Seth's full attention ''He's been hurting you hasn't he?''

Was it that obvious? Did everyone know just by looking at him? Seth shook his head attempting to stand to his feet only to feel Roman's hand press down on his shoulder, urging him to stay put

''You don't know what you're talking about Roman. Please just leave'' Seth said, winching as a shot of pain shot through his injured leg

''I know that you need help and I'd like to give it to you if you'd let me'' Roman replied

Roman just wanted to pick Seth up and carry him back to his room, hold him close, protect him, look after him but he knew he couldn't rush into things, Seth was vulnerable and he didn't want to ruin the little progress he had already made by moving too fast.

''Why?'' Seth replied with tears in his eyes

''Why not Seth? I care about you and despite what you might think Dean cares about you too and we will always care about you no matter what happens''

Seth couldn't remember the last time someone cared about him, he had forgotten what it felt like. He had missed it

''Look me and Dean are rooming together for the rest of the week. If you need somewhere to escape too or if everything gets to much with Randy just come by, we're in room 302'' Roman said before leaving the room

Roman left just as Randy's match came to an end and Seth turned his attention to the monitor in the locker room as the bell rang, frowning as he noticed the look on Randy's face. He had lost and Seth was already preparing himself for the inevitable; even more pain.


	4. Just in time

And pain was exactly what he got, despite how careful he was, someone had seen Roman go into Randy's locker room and that night Seth once again paid the price, his body taking yet another beating as Randy added to the bruises on his already tarnished skin. Seth sometimes found himself wishing that he was no longer alive, thinking that it would be his only way out and that it was what he deserved. The next morning his left eye was black and swollen, his eyelids feeling heavy as he once again failed to get any sleep. Insomnia had become normal and most nights he'd lay back on the bed and stare up at the ceiling as Randy snored away the night beside him. _I know that you need help and I'd like to give it to you if you'd let me_ Roman's voice kept echoing through his head but despite all his better judgment, he just couldn't bring himself to accept his help. He didn't have the strength, fight or the concern for himself to do anything about it.

Randy shifted next to him and Seth closed his eyes, hoping to fool Randy into thinking he was asleep. Seth jumped when he felt Randy's lips on his earlobe and he felt physically sick as Randy began to tug and nip at the skin on his ears, the action that once excited him now causing him to feel repulsed.

''Sleep well baby?'' Randy purred

Randy hadn't called Seth baby in months and he knew exactly what he was after as one of Randy's hands snaked it's way down Seth's body, resting on his groin. Seth's body was lifeless, he didn't have an once of energy in him and he wasn't sure if he could handle another rough sex session right now

''Randy please'' Seth begged as he tried to push his hand away

''I never told you to speak'' Randy hissed, his tone harsh as his cold eyes connected with Seth's

''I can't. Please don't'' Seth replied out of desperation

''I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU WANT BITCH!!'' Randy yelled, quickly losing his tempter when he realized that Seth was attempting to stand up for himself.

Seth winched as Randy grabbed hold of his hair and he closed his eyes, bracing himself for another beating as Randy sat up on his feet and glared at him, his mouth just inches away from Seth's face ''It looks like you've forgot who's in charge here Seth. Maybe I'm gonna have to remind you huh?''

Seth frantically shook his head ''No Randy please. I'm sorry-''

''Too late bitch, now you've made me mad'' Randy spat as he pinned Seth to the bed

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roman couldn't sleep, he was hoping that Seth would take him up on his offer and knock on the door, desperately hoped that he would find the strength to finally leave Randy for good, but as the hours passed and morning came he lost hope. He felt useless, he should be doing something, anything to help the man he loved but at the same time he wasn't sure what the right thing to do was.

''Bro. You can't stay awake forever, at some point you're going to have to sleep''

Dean's gruff morning voice broke the silence in the room and Roman didn't even bother to answer him as he stood up and sat beside Roman on his bed ''I know you care about him, I do too, but you've got to look after yourself. What use are you going to be to him if you can't even take care of yourself huh?''

Dean was right and Roman knew it but it didn't make it any easier to let go and relax. Roman wouldn't be able to relax until Seth was safe and by his side, and he couldn't help but wonder if he should just find Seth's room and knock on the door.

''What are you thinking about?'' Dean asked as Roman starred off into the distance

''Weather or not I should just knock on his door'' Roman admitted

''And then what? You can't just get into a fist fight with Randy in the middle of a damn hotel room Roman come on!!'' Dean replied

''Then what Dean huh? I can't just sit here and do nothing while Seth's probably getting hurt right now!!''

Before Dean could answer him they both heard shouting and yelling coming from somewhere outside their room. Seth and Randy's room was only a few doors down from them and they both made their way to the door, both of them listening carefully as someone begged and pleaded. _No please, stop, please stop_ could clearly be heard coming from a few doors down. The two men exchanged a look of as they recognized the voice. Seth. They didn't even bother to shutting their Hotel Room door and rushed over to Randy and Seth's room

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Randy stopped what he was doing as a he heard a loud knock on the door, Seth taking the opportunity to try and cover himself up

''EVERYTHING'S FINE GO AWAY!!'' Randy yelled, clearly annoyed with interruption ''This is your fucking fault. You just couldn't keep that slutty mouth of yours shut could you?'' Randy hissed as Seth cowered away from him, his eyes fixed onto the floor next to the bed. Randy's nails digging into him as he grabbed hold of his wrist roughly

[KNOCK KNOCK, KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]

The knocking got louder and more persistent and Randy eventually got up off the bed, dragging Seth along with him ''You're gonna answer the door and apologize to whoever it is and then you're going to tell them that you didn't mean to shout and that it won't happen again'' Randy ordered

Seth's nodded at the instructions, his free hand clinging onto the thin bed sheet that was covering his modesty as Randy opened the door, shoving Seth in front of him as he made his way back to bed

Neither Dean or Roman were quite prepared for what they saw as the door flew open and a scared looking Seth stood in front of them, his eyes swollen and red with tears, one of them black and bruised as he shook slightly with fear, his naked body barely covered with a thin white bed sheet, his multiple scars and wounds clearly visible as he looked at them both, stunned and silent.

''Who is it babe?'' Randy asks as he came into view, Seth wincing as he draped one of his arms around him. As soon as Randy's eyes settled on the two men, he pushed Seth behind him, blocking him off to them ''What the fuck do you two want?'' 


	5. Safe at last

Roman's fist came in contact with Randy's face before he could even see what was coming and Dean quickly grabbed hold of Seth, pulling him close to him and holding him tight, Seth pretty much collapsing in his arms as Roman continued to beat up Randy. Seth was shaking, clinging onto Dean like his life depended on it and Dean wrapped his arms around him, holding him a little tighter, trying his best to stop the other man from shivering as they both watched on from the doorway.

''Dean. Get Seth out of here, I'll be there in a bit'' Roman yelled as he stood over Randy's beaten body ''Don't worry Seth I'll bring your stuff''

Dean nodded and quickly lead Seth away, supporting Seth's weight on his right side as he lead him to he and Roman's room. Seth hadn't said a word since he opened the door and he seemed to be in a world of his own as Dean guided him inside, sitting him down on Roman's bed before kneeling down in front of him. As Dean looked at him, at the man he loved, the first thing he thought of was how thin and tired he looked, he had lost a lot of weight and now he could finally understand what Roman meant when he said that Seth was broken, he was a broken man, hardly recognizable from what he used to be and it broke Dean's heart to see him this way.

''You're safe now Seth. He won't hurt you anymore'' Dean whispered softly, trying his best to make eye contact with the younger man, gently cupping his face with his hands

Seth didn't react, he didn't even blink and Dean sighed, pulling his hand away. He was hoping that he and Roman had done the right thing. He sat himself down beside Seth on the bed and wrapped one of his arms around him, gently pulling him into his side as Seth simply rested his head on his chest. Dean didn't fail to notice how stiff Seth was in his arms, and he didn't have a clue what to do about it. What did he even say in this kind of situation?

''Are you still cold?'' Dean finally asked after a few minutes of silence

Seth simply nodded in response, still desperately clinging onto the thin sheet covering his naked body

''Well i'm sure Roman will be back with you're things soon, but in the meantime why don't you get under the covers, warm yourself up while you wait?'' Dean suggested, smiling softly

Seth stood to his feet and accepted Dean's offer, climbing into Roman's bed, quickly pulling the bedding over himself . Seth couldn't help but take in the scent of Roman that was still lingering on the bedding. He had missed that smell, missed being close to him and for a moment he got lost in his own thoughts

''Why don't you try and get some sleep, I'll be here the whole time, I promise I won't leave your side'' Dean suggested before walking over to his own bed and settling down on top of it

Up until now Dean had managed to successfully suppress his feelings towards Seth, but having him in the same hotel room, sleeping just feet away from him was only making his feeling grow stronger. He wanted to slide in next to him, hold him close, stroke the top of his head and fall asleep with him in his arms but he knew that he couldn't, Seth was so venerable and broken at the moment and he didn't want to make things worse. One day he thought to himself as he grabbed a book from the bedside cabinet, settling down on to the bed _Hopefully one day_

\-------------------------------------------------------------

It was another two hours before Roman came back through the door and if Seth hadn't of been there Dean would have yelled at him for taking so long, Dean wasn't the best when it came to delicate situations, that was always Roman's specialty and he resented Roman a little bit for leaving him for so long.

''How is he?'' Roman whispered as he placed Seth's bags down on the floor, his eyes scanning over him as he sat on the edge of Dean's bed

''I don't know man'' Dean replied with a sigh ''He's hardly said a word to me since he got here''

''He'll come around. It's been quite a night and it's probably just took a lot out of him'' Roman replied

''Where the hell have you been bro? You know I'm no good with this kind of thing!'' Dean asked, trying his best to keep his voice low as Seth shifted slightly in the bed next to him

''Well after you left, Randy and I went on a little trip to the local police station, where I made damn sure that he admitted everything he had done to Seth, and he is now in police custody while they investigate. Oh and he has been suspended indefinitely'' Roman explained

''Damn'' Dean replied as he looked over at Seth

''I know. The good news is that Randy is definitely going to pay for what he did but the bad news is that Seth might have to testify against him in order for that to happen and I'm not sure he's strong enough to do that right now'' Roman replied

''Yeah that's true. I guess all we can do is just take one day at a time'' Dean said as Seth began to wake

Roman quickly stood up and made his way over to him, smiling as Seth opened his eyes and looked up at him ''You alright?'' he asked

Seth sat up and nodded, fiddling with the bedding awkwardly as both men starred at him expectantly ''If you want you can have a bath or shower, I made sure to bring all your luggage with me so you can change into some of your own clothes'' Roman uttered

''Thanks'' Seth replied, his voice so quite that Roman barely heard him ''Both of you. Thank you so much'' he added

The anguish and pain in Seth's voice was obvious and his body language told Roman and Dean everything they needed to know. Seth was ashamed, embarrassed and his pride was dented a little but both men knew that they would do anything they could in order to change all that

''You don't have to thank us Seth'' Roman replied as Dean made his way towards them both, sitting down beside Seth on the bed

''Yeah and if you need anything; anything at all don't hesitate to ask ok?'' Dean said as Seth nodded, reaching down to grab his suitcase, fetching a change of clothes out of it before making his way to the bathroom with a sheet still firmly attached to his body

''Do you think he'll be alright?'' Dean asked once they heard the sound of the shower being turned on

''I hope so Dean. I really hope so'' 


	6. Internal battle

Seth broke down in tears as soon as the water came in contact with his skin, his body slowly sliding down the tiled wall and onto the cold surface underneath as he watched the water go down the drain, he was hoping that the water could wash everything away, somehow lift the weight off his shoulders, but it didn't happen. He began to sob, the warmth of the water doing little to stop his body from shaking. Everything had happened so fast and only now had his brain caught up with his body. A small part of him still felt like he didn't deserve all of this, that he didn't deserve to finally be free of Randy and he was also terrified that he could show up at any moment, angry and looking for revenge. He was surprised he had any tears left to cry, it was all he seemed to do these days.

 _You can do this, this is a good thing_ Seth told himself as he held his head in his hands

_No you can't, they don't care about you, their just using you like everyone else does_

Seth was fighting and quickly losing battle with his own mind, he was struggling to differentiate between right and wrong, kindness and pity and it was all becoming too much for him

''Seth. Is everything alright?''

Seth froze, his whole body stiffening as he heard a knock on the door followed by Roman's voice calling to him. He had been in there for more than 20 minutes, in his own little world, lost in his own thoughts and for a moment he had forgot where he was

''Uh y-yeah I'm fine'' Seth managed, slowing standing to his feet on shaky legs, the water running cold as he turned off the shower and stepped out, wrapping a towel around his body. As he opened the bathroom door he was greeted by a worried looking Roman. Seth wouldn't allow himself to tell Roman or Dean how he really felt. Instead he just pushed it all to the back of his mind, masking his pain with forced smiles. He was sick of being the victim, sick of sympathetic looks being thrown his way. He just wanted to feel safe again.

_You don't deserve this_

_You don't deserve Roman_

_You don't deserve either of them_

There it was again. The voice in the back of Seth's mind that refused to let him be happy even for a moment. The voice that always loved to knock Seth down when he found even the tiniest bit of happiness

''We'll give you some privacy'' Dean announced as he stood up and made his way over to the small kitchen as Roman followed close behind him.

''I wish I could do more for him'' Roman whispered ''He still seems so lost''

''I know'' Dean said with a sigh ''I just can't help but feel like he's shutting us out''

Despite their best efforts keep their voices down Seth could hear everything Dean and Roman were saying and it only made him feel worse about the whole situation. They were right though, he was shutting them out but only because he was afraid to trust them. He finished getting changed and laid himself down on Roman's bed, winching in pain as his knee throbbed, his muscles protesting as he curled up on the bed with his head buried into the pillow. He was exhausted, both physically and mentally, sleep seemed to elude him and it didn't help that every time he closed his eyes all that he could see was Randy's face.

Dean eventually came back into the room, unsure of what to do as he saw Seth curled up on the bed. He wanted nothing more than to lay next to him, to comfort him but what if it freaked him out? Dean sighed at climbed onto the bed, making sure to keep some distance between them as he leant over slightly and placed a hand on Seth's shoulder

''Seth'' he whispered softly ''You awake?''

Seth shifted slightly and turned over to face Dean ''Yeah'' he replied ''I'm so tired but I just can't seem to sleep anymore'' Seth admitted as she shuffled up the bed, quickly closing the distance between himself and Dean. He desperately wanted to hold onto someone, desperately wanted to be comforted but at the same time he was scared.

''Well if it helps Roman or I will sleep with you'' Dean replied ''We will even sleep on the top of the bed if you want'' Dean offered, smiling softly as Seth settled down beside him, resting his head on his chest

''It's worth a try i guess'' Seth agreed, shutting his eyes as Dean ran his fingers through his damp hair, enjoying the feel of his fingers on his scalp

The room fell silent for a moment, neither man wanting to say anything or spoil the moment as they laid there and simply enjoyed each others company. Dean had wanted to be this close to Seth for a while now, he had missed him

''Apart from the tiredness, how you feeling?'' Dean asked as Seth shifted slightly, wrapping his arms around Dean's waist

''Alright'' Seth replied ''My knee is killing me though''

''Roman's got some pain killers in his bag if you want some'' Dean offered

When Seth didn't answer Dean carefully placed a finger under his chin, titling his head up to look at him, his eyes full of worry ''What's going on in that head of your handsome?''

Seth blushed a little as he locked eyes with Dean, someone he had deep feelings for; feelings that he was too scared to admit to or act on ''I'm just sick of being hurt by the people I love'' Seth admitted as he looked away from him.

''Well that's something that you will never have to worry about with Roman and I. We would _never_ hurt you'' Dean answered as he rested his hand on the small of Seth's back, his fingers tracing soothing circles

Before Seth could answer Roman walked into the room ''Fancy some breakfast?'' he asked as he smiled at the scene in front of him ''I made blueberry pancakes'' he added, as he looked at Seth, knowing that they were his favorite

''Ok'' Seth nodded as he sat himself up, carefully moving his legs off the bed as Dean shot up and made his way to the kitchen

Roman watched Seth carefully as he ate. He had heard what sounded like crying coming from inside the bathroom while Seth was showering and the red and puffy eyes of the man he loved only confirmed his suspicions. He hated the thought of Seth suffering in silence but he also knew that he couldn't push the matter and that Seth would open up to them in his own time.

''The pancakes are really good Roman'' Seth said with a weak smile as he looked up at the older man

''Glad you like them'' Roman replied with a smile of his own

Seth quickly finished off his breakfast and stood up, gathering the empty plates and taking them over to the sink. Running the tap as he began to clean the plates

''You don't have to do that Seth'' Roman said as he quickly made his way over to him, turning the tap off

Seth's skin felt like it was on fire as Roman took hold of his hand and lead him away from the sink. For a moment the two men just stood their looking at each other, Seth's heart beating rapidly as Roman's steel grey eyes seemed to stare right into his soul

''Roman?'' Seth whispered after a few minutes

''Yeah?'' Roman answered

''What if he comes back?''


	7. Learning to trust again

''He won't'' Roman quickly assured

''But how can you be so sure?'' Seth argued

''Because I just know'' Roman replied as he looked down at their hands that were still joined together ''And even if he did it wouldn't matter because me and Dean are not going to let anything happen to you''

''That's right'' Dean agreed as he stood up and made his way over to them ''He won't lay another finger on you ever again, we'll make sure of it''

Seth wanted to believe them he really did but he knew all to well that Randy wouldn't stop until he got him back. He had eyes everywhere and was capable of just about anything when he got angry. He was worried for Roman and Dean's safety. He cared about the two of them a lot and he wouldn't be able to live with himself if anything happened to them because of him. Part of him wondered if he should just leave, find another place to stay, that way Roman and Dean would be safe. It was him that Randy wanted not them.

''Look I didn't want to tell you this because you've already been through so much but Randy is in police custody'' Roman admitted

Seth's head shot up in surprise, his eyes wide as Roman continued to speak ''After Dean brought you back here, I dragged Randy to the police station and made him confess to everything he had done to you. He is in police custody while they investigate and he has been suspended indefinitely''

Seth sat himself down as he felt his legs become weak. He wasn't sure what to make of this new information. A small part of him was relived but another part of him just couldn't relax, he was constantly preparing himself for the worst case scenario, mentally readying his brain for when Randy would inevitably come back for him. Roman and Dean couldn't be around him 24/7 there would be times when he would have to be alone and it would be then that he would strike.

''Seth. We'll do everything in our power to protect you. I promise'' Roman uttered as he studied Seth's facial expressions carefully. Trust needed to come first and then love would hopefully follow. That was just just how things would have to be

''I know you will'' Seth replied with a weak smile ''And I don't want to seem ungrateful...'' Seth shook his head

''Hey it's fine'' Roman said ''You've been through a lot and your probably not feeling like yourself at the moment. I understand''

Seth nodded and made his way back into the bedroom. His body was crying out for sleep but every attempt to get some so far had failed. He wouldn't admit it, but no matter how much he needed it, he was scared to close his eyes. He was scared in case he saw Randy's face again, he didn't want his dreams being invaded by harmful memories of what he had done to him. He laid himself down on the nearest bed and fidgeted for a few minutes, before finally getting into a comfortable position that didn't hurt his knee too much.

''Don't you think you should try and get some sleep?'' Dean asked looking at Roman as he finished up his breakfast and placed the plate and cutlery into the sink

''I should but I'm too on edge right now'' Roman replied as Dean made his way over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder

''You're no use to him like this'' Dean repeated ''I'm going to go and work out for a while. Go lay down, sleep. Nobody can get in here apart from you and I. He's safe'' Dean assured as he walked past him and grabbed his gym bag, leaving the room

Roman sighed. Dean was right but he had been on high alert since Seth got here, he couldn't help it. He had took it upon himself to protect the younger man, to make him feel safe and that's what he was determined to do. He poked his head into the bedroom to check on Seth and then quickly began to wash up the dishes, his eyes were heavy and he needed to keep his mind busy otherwise he would collapse with exhaustion

''Dean........Roman?''

Roman immediately stopped what he was doing when he heard Seth's voice, stepping into the bedroom ''I'm here Seth. Dean's at the gym''

Seth let out a relieved sigh as he began to fiddle with his hands nervously ''Um I've been struggling to sleep since.......well......for a while and Dean said that if I uh thought it would help that you or he would sleep with me''

Roman couldn't help but smile as Seth's face quickly turned red, he thought it was cute how flustered Seth was getting ''Sure. I can do that'' he replied as he kicked off his shoes and got onto the bed, making sure to leave some space between him and Seth as he leaned against the headboard

''Thanks'' Seth said as he smiled up at Roman

''No problem'' Roman replied ''Shut your eyes. I'll still be here when you wake up''

Seth nodded and settled down beside Roman, resting his head on the older man's chest just like he had done with Dean earlier. Laying this close to Roman felt so right and he had missed having this kind of contact with someone. Randy was rarely affectionate with him unless he wanted something and after a while Seth began to feel his eyelids become heavy and when Roman's hand came down to wrap around his waist he smiled, finally giving into sleep. Roman allowed himself to shut his eyes as the familiar scent of Seth filled his nostrils. He had longed to hold Seth like this for so long and he couldn't help but think back to how this all started as he fell asleep.


	8. Unspoken understanding

_*Flashback - Roman's POV*_

_I panted heavily as I caught my breath. Seth had dragged Dean and I along to one of his early morning CrossFit sessions and my eyes immediately landed on the lines of Seth's abs as he wiped himself down with a towel. Don't ask me how it happened but I had started to look at the two-toned nerd in a different light. What had started out as an innocent need to protect him quickly turned into something else all together and I was completely powerless to fight it. I'm not even sure I could if I wanted to, I've tried too for just over a year now and my feelings are only getting stronger. Seth caught me checking him out and I started blushing like a schoolgirl with a crush as he just simply smirked at me knowingly. This adorably annoying man had managed to awaken carnal desires inside of me that I only thought I had for women and with every day that passed i was only falling deeper. Until he started dating Randy and then i hardly saw him anymore_

Dean returned from his work out and swiped his key card through the lock on the door, still expecting to see Roman wide awake when he got inside but to his surprise he was greeted by a sight that made him smile from ear to ear. Roman and Seth were cuddled together on the bed, both fast asleep. Although it was a pleasant sight something about it caused his stomach to sink. It wasn't jealously, it didn't bother him that Roman was so close to Seth, what he was feeling was envy. He was envious of the position Roman was in and he felt left out. He had bit his tongue so far, not wanting to ruin the friendship he already had with Roman, but sooner or later he knew that they would come to blows, it was inevitable. He placed his gym bag on the floor and tip toed to the bathroom to take a shower. It was only recently that he got verbal confirmation of what he had suspected all along, and now here they were; he and Roman, with a man that they both loved and who was completely oblivious to their true feelings. Neither one of them could tell him because he was in such a venerable state of mind. Dean sighed as he exited the bathroom, drying himself off and getting changed as he looked down at the two sleeping forms on the bed opposite him. Seth and Roman were laying so close together that there was quite a large space left empty next to Seth and right now it was calling out to him, maybe he could get onto the bed without waking them up. Dean didn't know what to do and he chewed on one of his fingers for a moment as he made his way over to the bed

_Come on Dean this is stupid. It's just Seth and Roman, you've known them for years_

Dean told himself as his legs seemed to lead him there at their own accord, coming to a stop at the side of the bed as he gently and slowly climbed on top of the duvet and laid himself down behind Seth. He wanted to wrap his arm around Seth's waist, just allow himself to touch him in any way he could but he eventually decided against it, figuring that this was better than nothing as he shut his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep with fond memories of when he fell for Seth flashing through his mind.

_*Flashback - Dean's POV*_

_Wrestling soulmates. That's what everyone called Seth and I, and they were right but we were soulmates in more ways that one. We just seemed to gravitate towards each other and after a while I started to feel things for him. I'd often catch myself staring at his lips as he spoke, I'd wonder about how soft they were and how they would feel pressed up against mine. I knew that I was falling for one of my best friends and I started to notice that Roman felt the same way too, and to be honest I wasn't really sure how to feel about it. Every night my body ached a little more, begging for me to have Seth close, it was slowly driving me insane and then The Shield disbanded and Seth hooked up with Randy. I'm not going to deny that it left a nasty taste in my mouth. I have never liked Randy, there was just something about him that I didn't trust and slowly Seth began to distance himself from us. Eventually we didn't see him at all._

Roman shifted in his sleep, holding onto Seth tightly as his eyes flew open. His eyes searched the room quickly as he felt another presence in the room. He smiled, relaxing as he saw Dean curled up behind Seth. He didn't even hear him come back.

''Dean'' he whispered, trying his best not to wake Seth

''What'' Dean grumbled as he rolled over to face him

''Get your ass over here'' Roman said as he motioned with his hand for him to close the gap between them

Dean hesitated for a second before shuffling closer to the two men, Roman's tattooed arm stretching out towards him. He settled down closer to Seth, his chest pressing up against the younger mans back as Roman's hand settled on Dean's waist.

''That's better'' Roman whispered as he drifted back to sleep

Dean starred at the Samoan in confusion for a moment before chancing a look down at Seth, smiling as he watched him mumble in his sleep. Dean's hand came up to gently push a strand of hair out of his face, kissing him on the forehead before resting his head down on the pillow beside his head, his hand resting on Seth's waist as he shut his eyes and let sleep overtake him.


	9. New found feelings

Seth was awoken the next morning by a rather loud knocking sound. Dean and Roman were already up and dressed and Seth listened carefully as an unfamiliar voice filled the hotel room.

''Hi I'm detective Melville. Is there a Mr. Rollins here?'' The detective asked as Roman ushered them in

''Uh yeah he's here but he's asleep right now. What is this about?'' Roman asked as Dean appeared next to him, eyeing the man suspiciously

''And you are?'' The detective questioned as he looked between the two men

''I'm Roman Reigns and this is Dean Ambrose'' Roman replied ''We're Seth's friends. Is this about his ex?''

''Yes it is'' The detective confirmed ''Mr. Reigns, were you the gentleman that brought Mr. Orton into the police station?''

''Yeah that was me'' Roman answered

''Right'' The detective said as he wrote something down on a notepad he pulled out of his pocket

''Uh i can go and get Seth if you want?'' Dean asked, eager to get this over with

''That would be appreciated thank you'' Detective Melville replied

By the time Dean entered Seth's room he was already up and dressed and it was clear from his worried expression that he had overheard the whole conversation

''Are you alright to do this?'' Dean asked as Seth turned around to look at him

''Not really'' Seth admitted ''But i don't think i really have a choice''

''It'll be fine'' Dean assured ''Me and Ro will be there with you the whole time''

Seth smiled weakly and left the room, Dean following closely behind him

''Mr. Rollins?'' Detective Mellville asked as Seth came into view

''Yes sir'' Seth replied

''I'm Detective Mellville, I am one of the officers covering your case'' He stated as Seth sat on the edge of the couch, Roman and Dean sitting either side of him as he bit his nails nervously ''As you're aware you will need to testify at some point but right now i would like to get an official statement from you''

''Okay'' Seth replied

''When Mr. Reigns brought Mr. Orton into the police station, he admitted to inflicting violence onto you. Can you confirm that this is true?'' The Detective asked

''Yes that's right'' Seth confirmed ''Whenever he got annoyed, angry or drunk he would beat me up, sometimes until i couldn't move'' Seth added, Roman rubbing his back softly ''The only time he was nice to me was when he wanted something; usually sex''

Detective Melville listened intently, jotted down notes ''And what about this'' He said as he pointed to Seth's injured leg ''Did he do this?''

''No. I did this in the ring'' Seth replied

''Would you like a drink Detective, something to eat?'' Roman asked, attempting to give Seth a few minutes as he noticed how upset he was getting

''No i'm okay thank you. I just have a few more questions and then i'll be on my way'' Detective Melville answered, sensing the tension in the room

''Mr. Rollins, when was the last time you saw Mr. Orton?'' The Detective asked

''Just before Roman brought him into the police station'' Seth replied ''They uh-Roman and Dean they heard me. Randy was trying to rape me and they heard me shouting. That was the last time''

''I appreciate all your help Mr. Rollins and i know this must be difficult for you so i'm going to leave you in peace'' Detective Melville answered ''Thank you for your time. We will be in touch with you in the near future'' he added as he walked over to the door and left.

''You alright?'' Dean asked as soon as the door shut behind him

Seth wanted to pretend everything was okay, try and insist that The Detectives visit didn't get to him and that he wasn't upset, but he was and Seth was suddenly reminded off Dean and Roman conversation about him shutting them out. ''I guess'' Seth admitted ''Wasn't exactly an ideal way to start the day''

''I know'' Dean replied

''How did you sleep last night?'' Roman asked, eager to change the subject

''I slept good'' Seth replied with a small smile as he looked at Roman ''Thanks to you guys. It really helped having you both there with me''

''I didn't think you knew'' Dean said

''I knew'' Seth replied, a slight blush covering his cheeks ''I don't have to be awake to know when your close by''

''Tired?'' Roman asked as Seth let out a yawn

''A bit'' Seth replied ''I think all those weeks of disturbed sleep are catching up with me''

''Well it's still early'' Roman replied ''It wouldn't hurt to get another few hours''

''Only if you guys lay with me'' Seth quickly replied ''You don't have to stay, just be with me until i fall asleep''

''Come on then'' Dean said as he stood up, a small smile spreading across his face as he held his hand out to Seth

Over the past few weeks Seth had slowly been getting back to his old self. Every day he was growing a little less afraid as Roman and Dean helped heal him both mentally and physically and although he wanted to deny it at first, something else was bubbling up inside him too, something familiar yet vague. It was something that felt strangely like love.


	10. A yearning desire

Maybe it was just admiration, a silly little crush. That was what Dean had been telling himself, he had convinced himself that how he felt towards Seth was just temporary, that it was their separation that had caused it. But what he couldn't deny was that right now, with Seth laying beside him, he had never felt so whole. What he wanted; what he desperately needed scared him. He had never thought about another man like this in his entire life and it terrified him. Everything was just to much and as soon as Seth fell asleep Dean carefully got out of bed, leaving Seth and Roman alone to sleep. Roman; his best friend, brother and man who also happened to feel the same way about Seth as he did. He didn't want to leave Seth, that was the last thing he wanted to do, but at the same time he needed to distance himself from him before he acted on his feelings and made things worse. The last thing he needed was for Seth to wake up and catch him staring down at him like a madman.

He busied himself with making a coffee, turning on the coffee machine as he leant against the counter top, resting his arms on the surface.

''You alright bro?''

Dean didn't even hear Roman come in ''Fine'' Dean lied, forcing a smile ''Want some coffee?''

''Nah i'm good'' Roman replied eyeing his best friend suspiciously ''You can't avoid it forever you know''

''Avoid what?'' Dean replied defensively

''You know what'' Roman countered ''We can't keep pretending that we both don't want the same thing''

Dean looked up at the older man, letting out a sigh ''I'm not pretending I just. I don't see how it could ever work''

''Meaning?'' Roman pushed

''We don't even know if Seth feels the same way. I mean what if he just want to be friends, or likes one of us more than the other?. I know we agreed to not let this come between us but, how can it not?''

''Hey I'm just as worried as you are'' Roman admitted ''And I don't want to lose you as a friend either but it's pointless even thinking about it right now. Let's just concentrate on getting Seth back to his best, then when the time is right, we'll talk to him, figure it out''

Dean nodded his head as he poured himself a cup of coffee ''We'll figure it out. Don't worry'' Roman added as he leant up against one of the counters

''Figure what out?'' The two men turned around to find Seth standing in the doorway, leaning up against the door frame

''It's nothing. Just talking about our match'' Dean lied. He hated lying to him but right now he wasn't sure that Seth could deal with the truth

''That's right'' Roman confirmed with a smile

''Oh right. Um I actually wanted to ask you if you had anymore pain killers'' Seth replied sheepishly ''My leg's really hurting right now''

Seth had heard the whole conversation, he had been awake for a while now, ever since Dean and Roman got out of bed, but he didn't want to say anything because he wasn't sure how to even feel. On one hand he was thrilled, his feeling were being requited in the way he wanted but at the same time he was scared, terrified of opening up to someone again after what he had been through.

''Here'' Roman said as he handed Seth some painkillers, capturing his attention

''Oh thanks'' Seth replied as he starred at the face of one of the men that had managed to revive his heart

He hated Randy for turning him into this. Into some scared and fragile creature that he struggled to even recognize anymore. Years ago he would have jumped in head first, grabbed hold of the back of Roman's head and kissed him like his life depended on it, dragged Dean away from the counter top and back to the bed, but right now all he could do was stand there and stare like a lunatic.

''You alright?''

Seth blinked as he remembered where he was, a concerned looking Roman gazing at him

''Huh? Oh yeah fine'' Seth quickly replied

''You want a coffee?'' Dean asked as Seth made his way over to the sink to grab a glass of water to take his pills with

''Sure'' Seth replied with a small smile

He hated how awkward it always felt when he was around these two men. He knew why it was awkward, it was because of him. Neither man knew how to act around him anymore and a part of him hated himself for it. He was a different person now, he'd probably never be the same again and because of that the two men who used to feel the closest too, now have no idea how to act around him anymore. He just wanted things to go back to how they used to be, but off course they couldn't because now feelings had been established on both sides and simple friendship wouldn't be enough.

''Here you go'' Dean said as he handed Seth his coffee ''Two sugars and lots of milk, just how you like it''

''Thanks'' Seth replied as he chanced a look at the older man

He loved everything about him. He loved how his hair always looked a little messy, he loved how his dimples would show when he smiled, and his gravely voice, his unshaven face and the broadness of his shoulders, hell, he even loved the way he snored and right now he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around him and never let go.

''Did you manage to get much sleep?'' Roman questioned capturing Seth's attention

''A little'' Seth replied with a shrug

Oh Roman, all muscle and power, but yet underneath all of that he was a teddy bear, so caring and loving and considerate. The man was a god, Seth was convinced of it and it still baffled him how someone as perfect as him could ever love someone like himself. He could have anyone, someone with no emotional baggage, someone who could love him in a way that he deserved.

''How do you feel about getting out of here for a bit?''

Roman's question caught Seth a little off guard, mainly because he was in his own little world, thinking about how perfect Roman was.

''I mean we've been cooped up in here for a few days now'' Roman added ''It doesn't have to be anything crazy, we can just go and have lunch or something''

''Uh yeah sure'' Seth replied as he took a sip of his coffee

''Great!'' Roman replied with a smile ''There's a small diner not far from here that we could go too''

''Hey you know me man, food's food'' Dean declared as he cleaned up his coffee cup and left the room


	11. Slip of the tongue

Seth’s mind was a lonely place to be at times and what made things worse was that he felt like he couldn’t speak to anyone about it. No one could understand the way he felt, only someone who had gone through what he had would truly understand how he felt.

Seth wasn’t going to lie, he was nervous. Nervous to be outside, away from the safety of the hotel. In the hotel room he felt comfortable, safe and protected. Roman was right, the diner was small, and thankfully it was pretty quiet when they got there but he was still anxious. He hated feeling like this, he felt so out of control.

“You’re safe Seth relax” Dean whispered as he turned his head to look at him, seemingly sensing his distress

Seth simply looked at him with a weak smile as Roman nodded his head in agreement. The rest of the outing was a blur. Seth sat and ate in silence as he listened to Roman and Dean make light conversation either side of him. All he could think about was how he didn’t deserve this. How he didn’t deserve to be treated so well, but despite his busy mind, what he did notice was Dean and Roman expressions when they looked at him. Concern, confusion and worry was clear to see and the drive back to the hotel was much like the lunch, silent except for small talk between the two men that he never wanted to be without again.

Once they reached the Hotel room, Seth quickly rushed inside and made his way to the bathroom

“Seth you alright?”

Dean’s question fell on death ears. When Seth was in this kind of head space, nothing and no one could get through to him. The last time he felt like this was when he was still with Randy. At first he had kept the razor blade on him for protection, but then one day it he turned it on himself. He wasn’t proud of what he had done, in fact he was confused, but for some reason it made him feel better. Since then he had promised himself he would never do it again, but here he was. Slumped against the nearest wall, a small sharp blade pressed up against his skin once again as he prepared to scar his body even further. It wasn’t about hurting himself, he didn’t enjoy the sensation of cutting, nor did he like the scars. He did it because it made him fell free, he felt in control.

“Seth. Speak to me please’‘

Dean was starting to get worried now, they both were but Seth couldn’t hear anything past the thumping in his ears. So off course he didn’t hear Dean and Roman’s attempts to break down the door either. If he had he’d have probably stopped, quickly stood up and hid the blade before they could see it, but he didn’t get the chance. At first he didn’t even notice them, he only realized they were in the same room as him when he felt someone take the blade from his hand.

’'Dean pass me the first aid kit”

Seth blinked a few times as he slowly came back to reality, the sensation of someone beginning to clean and bandage his wounds making his eyes focus on the figure in front of him.

“Roman?”

Concern wasn't something he was used to but that was all that he could see in Roman’s expression. When Randy had found him self-harming one day, he had laughed in his face, he had told him that he was surprised he didn’t do it sooner and then turned around and left him to it.

“It’s alright Seth, we’ve got you” Roman said softly

Seth looked up to see Dean standing beside him, a look pure sorrow etched on his face as he nibbled nervously on one of his fingers

“Dean?’'

The older man was close to tears. Dean looked like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. Both men were visually shaken and at that very moment Seth understood what it felt like to have someone truly care about you.

’'I’m so sorry” Seth mumbled “I don’t deserve you, either one of you. I’m so so sorry”

“Hey shhhh” Dean said as he knelt down beside Seth “Don’t say shit like that okay!’'

Dean slowly moved to wrap his arms around Seth, and the younger man instantly melted into the embrace. He felt so safe in Dean’s arms, and he closed his eyes, temporarily getting lost in the other man’s scent as he felt Roman begin to stroke his back

’'Please don’t ever do this again” Dean whispered as he placed a kiss to the top of Seth’s head “I can’t bare to see you hurt yourself like this” he added, his voice barley above a whisper “I love you so damn much. More than you could ever understand”

Seth lifted his head, his brown eyes locking with blue as he processed what Dean had just said to him. “Y-you love me?’'

’'We both do” Roman confirmed

Seth knew how both men felt. He’d overheard them talking about it. But actually hearing them confirm it, his joy was irrepressible. He was speechless. He didn’t know what to do or say next. Deep down he wanted to lean into Dean and close the gap between them, kiss him like his life depended on it, sit up slightly and wrap a hand around Roman’s neck, pull him into him for a kiss that would no doubt leave them both breathless.

“It wasn’t suppose to come out like that” Dean admitted as he ran his fingers through Seth’s hair “We were gonna tell you when the time was right. You know, when you were back on your feet and feeling like yourself again”

“It’s alright” Seth quickly replied as he looked between the two men either side of him “I mean, I’m glad you told me”

“You are?” Roman asked

“Yeah” Seth replied, a blush begging to form on his cheeks “Cos I feel the same way” Seth confessed “About both of you”

Seth’s heart was beating out of his chest and he was pretty sure he was the color of a tomato as Dean and Roman shared a look that could only be described as elation.

“And I love you both equally by the way” Seth added as both men helped him up to his feet

“You heard that?” Dean asked as he wrapped a supportive hand around Seth waist

“Yeah. I did” Seth replied

“You little eavesdropper!!” Roman teased as they lead him over to the bed, laying him down on it, making sure his comfortable

Roman disappeared into the bathroom to clean up and Seth outstretched his arms, motioning Dean to come and lay with him as the older man hovered by the side of the bed awkwardly.

“You sure?” Dean asked, keen to give Seth some space after what just happened

“Yeah I’m sure” Seth replied “I wanna cuddle”

Dean climbed onto the bed and settled down beside Seth, his head leant up against the head board as Seth cuddled into his side, resting his head on his chest, Dean’s fingers instinctively beginning to play with Seth’s hair.


	12. Progress

Dean couldn't get what he had just saw out of his head. Thankfully the cuts hadn't been deep enough to cause too much damage and he was glad that he and Roman had found Seth when they did, but he still couldn't help but feel like it was his fault.

''I'm sorry'' he whispered as his hand settled on Seth's back

''What for?'' Seth replied, lifting his head up to look at him

''I should have noticed something was wrong-''

''It wasn't your fault'' Seth interrupted ''Neither of you were to blame'' he added as he sat up ''When I get into that head space nothing and no one can pull me out of it'' he admitted

''What made you do it?'' Dean asked

''At the Diner. I was so nervous, even with the two of you there with me, I felt so out of control, I just couldn't calm down no matter how hard I tried and it made me feel so helpless.'' Seth explained

''But why did you cut yourself?'' Dean replied

''It's hard to explain'' Seth stated as Roman made his way out of the bathroom, settling down on the bed opposite them ''When I feel out of control like that I don't even feel like I'm in charge of my own body anymore. And I know it sounds weird but when I cut myself it reminds me that I'm still here, it makes me feel alive.''

Dean let out a sigh ''I just wish you would have spoke to one of us, told us how you were feeling''

''I know'' Seth replied ''I should have, but I was so overwhelmed at the time and I just couldn't think straight''

Roman listened intently, staring at Dean and Seth silently. Seth was finally opening up to them and that was great but like Dean, he had wished that he had done it earlier, before he had decided to harm himself.

''Please don't punish yourself over this baby boy. These things happen'' Roman said, capturing Seth attention ''What's done is done, let's just move on and look forward''

Seth's cheeks reddened slightly at Roman nickname as he nodded, smiling ''Okay'' he agreed

''You should probably eat or drink something though'' Dean added ''The cuts might not have been that deep but you still lost quite a bit of blood''

''He's right'' Roman confirmed ''How about I go and make us some sandwiches?''

''Yeah that'll be nice. Thanks'' Seth replied

''No problem'' Roman replied ''I'll call you both when there ready''

Seth looked down at Dean, letting out a small chuckle as Dean held him arms out towards him. Seth settled back down beside him, instantly settling his head on the older man's chest as Dean's arms wrapped around his waist securely.

''Love you Sethie'' Dean whispered as he placed a kiss on Seth's head, his voice slightly muffled by his hair

''Love you too'' Seth replied a few seconds later, smiling as he made the most of being in Dean's arms again.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

It was around ten minutes later when Roman called for them both and neither man was really ready to part from each other, but hunger eventually got the better of them and they reluctantly shifted, getting off the bed and making their way into the small kitchen area.

''Oh at last!'' Roman teased ''I thought I was gonna have to send out a search party''

''We were comfortable'' Dean replied as Seth laughed at Roman's comment

All three men ate in silence until Seth eventually broke the silence ''Can I ask you both something?'' he asked nervously

''Sure'' Dean replied as Roman nodded

''Why do you like me?'' He questioned, taking both men by surprise

''What do you mean?'' Roman asked

''Well I'm so damaged'' Seth replied ''You guys could have any man; or woman you want. Why me?''

Roman shook his head slightly ''Everything that has happened between you and Randy is irreverent when it comes to my feeling for you'' Roman explained ''I started falling for you years back and I think you knew that too didn't you?''

Seth smiled knowingly, nodding his head ''Remember how I was staring at you that time at the CrossFit gym and you caught me and I turned red?'' Roman asked

''Yeah'' Seth replied

''Well I'd say it was around about then and I've been falling ever since'' Roman admitted

''Such a fucking sap'' Dean mumbled

''Like you're any better!!'' Roman argued ''Don't make me tell Seth what you told me''

Dean's head shot up at that, shooting Roman a warning glare

''Anyway'' Roman continued turning his attention back towards Seth ''I've been meaning to ask you. Do you want to come and stay with me for a while? Dean and I have got some time off coming up and we were gonna go to Florida and just hang out at my place. I know your off with your injury, so I was hoping you could come with us?''

''I'd love to'' Seth replied, smiling widely

He couldn't remember the last time he smiled so much, but within the last half and hour it seemed to be the only thing he was doing and he loved it.

''Cool'' Roman replied with a smile of his own as he stood up and gathered the dirty plates

''Well I'm gonna go to the gym'' Dean announced as he left the room

Dean gathered up everything he needed and was about to leave the room when he felt someone grab hold of his arm.

''Can I come with you?''

Dean turned around, barley able to contain his glee as he saw Seth standing in front of him

''Off course'' He answered with a smile


	13. Desire

Seth hadn't been to a gym since before his injury and although he couldn't do anything in the form of a proper work out, he could do light exercise and he made sure to work on his upper body. At first he was nervous about being out in public again after what had happened at the Diner, but once he was inside the gym and saw it was pretty quiet and secluded, he calmed down. Although he didn't miss the looks that were coming his way from a few of his co-workers. Word had obviously got around about what had happened with Randy and Seth could really do without the staring as he tried his best to concentrate on what he was doing.

There was however another distraction, one that Seth didn't mind at all and that was Dean. Despite everything that had happened to him; he was only human and a sweaty, shirtless Dean was making him feel something that he hadn't felt in months, possibly even years. Lust. Just the thought of what that meant scared the life out of him, but at the same time it excited him. It proved Randy wrong, he wasn't damaged goods, Roman and Dean loved him, someone other than Randy found him attractive. Randy's cruel words were no longer true, slowly he was healing and it was all thanks to his former team mates.

''Everything alright?''

Dean's question broke him out of his daze, a smile coming to his face as Dean came to stand in front of him

''Yeah. You finished?'' Seth replied

''Yeah I'm ready to get out of here. How about you?'' Dean asked

Dean wasn't the biggest fan of gym's, he much preferred being out in the open, in the middle of a hot desert somewhere, running through the wilderness. Away from the prying eyes of fans. He only used gym's when he absolutely had to and now was one of those times, but the experience was made better by having Seth there with him. The older man didn't fail to notice the looks Seth was giving him either and if he wasn't mistaken he could have swore that the younger man was checking him out.

''Let's go'' Seth replied as he carefully stood to his feet

The two of them quickly showered and changed and were now in Dean's car on their way back to the Hotel, but Seth just couldn't get what Roman had said earlier out of his head.

''Dean?'' Seth mumbled, his voice just barely able to be heard over the low hum of the radio

''Yeah?'' Dean answered, his eyes fixed on the road up ahead

''What did, um what did Roman mean earlier when he said ''Don't make me tell Seth what you told me?''

The question was out now and Seth's heart begin to pound as he saw Dean tense up. He was hoping desperately that he hadn't just done something to upset the older man and when Dean quickly pulled over and stopped the car he really began to worry, mentally preparing himself for the worst. More out of instinct than anything else

''Sethie look at me'' Dean said, quickly noticing how tense Seth was as he took his seatbelt of and turned towards him

Seth slowly opened his eyes, expecting to see nothing but anger in Dean's eyes, but instead all he saw was kindness and something else that he couldn't quite recognize.

''There's no need to be scared'' Dean added ''You've done nothing wrong okay?''

Dean reached out and took hold of Seth's hand, lacing their fingers together as Seth took a deep breath

''The truth is that I've known Roman likes you for a while now and a few weeks ago I asked him how he felt about you and he confessed that he liked you as more than just a friend. Then I told him that I did as well.'' Dean explained ''The reason he said what he did was because I'm not as open with expressing my feelings as he is and he was threatening to tell you what I said to shut me up that's all. I shouldn't have called him a sap''

''What did you say?'' Seth quickly asked

''Well I was being pretty sappy too'' Dean answered

Seth's heart leapt with joy as he gazed into Dean's eyes. When he was with Dean he felt weightless, like everything that had happened to him was suddenly lifted off his shoulders and if he could stay like this, alone with Dean, hands joined, forever, he would.

''I had never looked at another man in a romantic way until you and to be honest, I wasn't sure how to feel about it at first. I was scared, scared about what it could mean for our friendship and Roman's. So I ignored it. I ignored how I felt about you, I buried it and then when The Shield split you weren't around so much and all I wanted was to be around you, with you'' Dean explained

Seth was pretty sure he was blushing like mad right now but for once he didn't care. The whole world felt like it was coming to a holt, and only he and Dean existed.

''Anyway. I basically told Roman just how much I really care about you and how I can't get enough of your goofy little smile or the way you blush'' Dean continued as Seth, if it was possible, turned even redder ''And how I think your pretty much perfect from head to toe and how it's all pointless anyway because there's no way that someone like you would ever want to be with someone like me'' Dean finished

''That's not true!'' Seth quickly answered as he moved a little closer to Dean

''Well I know that now'' Dean replied ''But at the time I didn't''

For a moment the two men just sat there staring at one another

''So now you know'' Dean eventually said as he turned around, reaching for his seatbelt

''Wait'' Seth quickly said as he grabbed hold of Dean's arm

''What's up?'' Dean asked, confused

Dean made a surprised noise as Seth lunged towards him, his arms securely wrapping around Seth's waist as he clung to him, hugging him tightly

''Thank you for telling me'' Seth whispered ''I know it wasn't easy for you''

''Thank you for opening up to us'' Dean replied, one of his hands cupping the back of Seth's head gently ''I know all of this must be hard for you but we won't push you into anything you don't want to do. I promise''

Seth raised his head, pulling away slightly

''You're in charge. Whatever you want I'll do okay?'' Dean added with a smile ''And I'm sure Roman would too''

''Anything?'' Seth asked with a glint in his eye

''Anything'' Dean confirmed 


	14. Break the ice

The two of them were so close to one another that Seth could feel Dean's breath on his face and at that very moment he wanted nothing more than to lean forward and close the gap between them. Press his lips up against Dean's and just get lost in the sensation. But his heart was fragile and he was scared.

 _come on Seth this is stupid_  He told himself  _how many times are you going to let fear get in your way?_

''You okay?'' Dean asked ''You kinda blanked out on me there''

''Just thinking'' Seth replied

''About?'' Dean questioned

''Kissing you'' Seth admitted

''Then why don't you?'' Dean asked

 _you can do this_  Seth told himself _come on.......just try_

''Hey'' Dean said, gently cupping the side of Seth's face ''You don't have to-''

''I want to'' Seth interrupted

Seth leant forward slowly, shaking slightly as his lips brushed up against Dean's, his eyes shut tight

''Open your eyes'' Dean whispered as he pressed his forehead against Seth's

Seth opened his eyes, his focus locking on the blue eyes of Dean. ''I'm not going to hurt you''

One of Dean's arms wrapped around Seth's waist while the other gently rested on the back of Seth's neck. Their lips barley touched but Seth already felt like he was floating. Dean's lips were everything he had imagined and more. So soft, sweet and intoxicating, little nips causing his skin to break out in goosebumps as he opened his mouth slightly to allow Dean to explore. When their tongues met, the passion was clear and before long Seth was moaning into the kiss, his fingers twisting in the fabric of Dean's tank top.

Eventually they had to part, both of them gasping for breath as they starred at each other, both of them smiling stupidly. Before either man could say anything, Dean's phone beeped.

''Who is it?'' Seth asked as Dean rolled his eyes

''Roman'' Dean replied ''He's wondering how much longer we're going to be''

Seth let out a sigh as he got back into his seat, pulling his seatbelt around himself and Dean fastened his own and started the car back up

''He sure know's how to interrupt a special moment doesn't he!'' Dean commented as he pulled the car back onto the road, smiling as he heard Seth laugh at his comment.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Dean and Seth arrived back at the Hotel around 20 minutes later and Roman visually perked up as soon as he saw them enter the room. They hadn't been gone that long, but he had missed them.

''Is your phone broke bro?'' Roman asked as Dean walked past him

''Nope'' Dean replied from the kitchen

''Then why didn't you reply to my text?'' Roman yelled, only to be met by silence

Seth climbed onto the bed and immediately cuddled up to Roman who was watching the TV, mindlessly flicking through the channels.

''Roman?'' Seth said softly

''Hmm?'' Roman replied turning his attention towards Seth, one of his giant arms making it's way around Seth's waist

''You know you said about the three of us going to your house?'' Seth asked

''Yeah'' Roman replied

''Can we stop off somewhere on the way?'' Seth asked

''Sure. Where did you want to go?'' Roman replied as Dean made his way back into the room with what looked like a twinkie in his hand

''Well when I moved in with Randy everything was great at first. We were happy, even Kevin [Seth's dog] loved it there'' Seth explained ''But after a while he started to change and he made me get rid of Kevin''

''Asshole'' Dean mumbled as he sat himself down on the end of the bed, stuffing the twinkie into his mouth almost whole

''I didn't sell him or anything, my mum took him in and when Randy found out he wen't mad. Afterwards, he began to cut me off from everyone. My family, my friends.......he even tried to make me sell my house. I didn't though, I still pay rent on it and it's just sat there empty.'' Seth continued

''So what do you want to do baby boy?'' Roman asked

''I want to see my mum. I want to sit down with her and explain everything'' Seth answered

''I think that's a great idea'' Roman agreed

''Why don't you phone her first though. Break the ice?'' Dean suggested

Seth sat up, growing uncomfortable as he remembered Randy took his phone from him.

''You don't have to if you don't want to'' Roman said

''I do but.....'' Seth replied ''Randy took my phone away from me months ago, he said I didn't deserve it''

''Well you can you use mine if you want'' Dean suggested ''I hardly use the thing anyway so there's plenty of money on it.'' He said as he stood up and fished it from his pocket ''Here. Take as long as you need''

Seth took the phone from Dean and smiled at him lovingly ''Thank you''

''No problem'' Dean replied ''We'll leave you to it'' he said as he and Roman left the room

Seth's hand shook as he dialed his mum's number. He had no idea where to even start, what did he say to her after almost a year of no contact?


	15. Just to see you smile

''So how did it go at the gym?'' Roman asked as he got himself a drink

''It was fine'' Dean replied ''A few of the guys were staring, but it didn't seem to bother Seth too much''

''That's good'' Roman answered ''I think getting away for a while is really gonna help him''

''Yeah'' Dean agreed ''I think you're right''

''I swear next time I see Orton though, he'll wish he'd never been born'' Roman declared as he and Dean waited for Seth to finish talking to his mum

''I know what you mean'' Dean replied ''Just when I think I can't hate him anymore, Seth tells me something else and proves me wrong''

Roman sat himself down as Dean stood nearby, fidgeting.

''What's up with you?'' Roman asked as he starred up at the younger man

''Huh?'' Dean replied

''You're all twitchy'' Roman answered

''No I'm not''

Dean was playing dumb, he didn't know what else to do. Being alone with Roman was reminding him of the conversation they had about their feelings for Seth, and how they had both agreed that they didn't want it to come between them. Kissing Seth had been great and he didn't regret it at all, but he also felt like he needed to be honest about it with Roman, for the sake of their friendship.

''Alright so maybe I am'' Dean admitted. Roman's intense glare was proving too much ''Something happened''

''Something bad?'' Roman asked, growing concerned

''Oh no, nothing like that'' Dean quickly assured ''After Seth and I were done at the gym........we we're on our way back here and well we kind of........kissed''

Roman opened his mouth to reply but before he could Seth appeared in the doorway, his eyes red and puffy, stray tears drying on his cheeks.

''You alright?'' Dean asked making his way over to him quickly

''Yeah I'm fine'' Seth answered as he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his t-shirt

''Why are you crying baby boy?'' Roman asked as he stood up and placed his now empty cup on the counter

''As soon as my mum heard my voice she burst into tears and hearing her cry, made me cry'' Seth explained ''I miss her so much''

''Awww man, you frightened us'' Dean replied as he pulled Seth into him, wrapping his arms around him as Seth rested his head against his chest

''I could hear Kevin too'' Seth mumbled ''Barking in the background''

Roman's broad frame pressed up against Seth's back and he closed his eyes as Roman gently tucked a few stray hair's behind his ears

''Man the last time I saw that little scamp, we were still in FCW!!'' Roman laughed as he rubbed Seth's back

''My mum said that she can't wait to see us'' Seth continued ''She's even gonna pop over to my house, clean up a bit and make sure that the heating's on and everything. So we can stay there''

''Sounds good'' Dean replied ''I love your mum and everything but I'd be lying if I said that I wouldn't enjoy having you all too myself again''

Seth's cheeks turned pink instantly as he lifted his head up to look at Dean, who was smirking mischievously

''Oh it's alright, Ro knows'' Dean quickly added as he recognized the worry in Seth's eyes

''Yeah he told me just now'' Roman confirmed as Seth turned his head to look at him ''It's cool though. Just as long as I get a kiss at some point too''

\------------------------------------------------------

A week and a half passed and the three of them were sat in Dean's car, outside a house that caused Seth's anxiety to skyrocket. After a long conversation a few days prior, Seth had decided that he wanted to go back to the house that he once shared with Randy, so that he can collect some of his stuff. The police had confiscated everything's that was on Randy when he was taken into custody, but most of Seth's treasured possessions were still at the house that he hadn't stepped foot in for almost three months.

''We don't have to do this you know'' Roman said as he turned the key, killing the engine. ''We can just turn the car around and go back''

Seth was sat in the backseat, his body shaking slightly as he gazed nervously out of the window. Dean was sat beside him, his hand holding onto Seth's tightly.

''I've got too'' Seth replied, not taking his eyes off the house in front of him ''If I don't then I'm letting him win''

Roman and Dean understood where Seth was coming from but it still didn't make the situation any easier to deal with. They both hated seeing Seth so distressed and they just wanted to make him feel better in any way they could.

''If you're sure then we're behind you 100%'' Roman assured

''That's right'' Dean added ''We won't leave your side, I promise''

Seth finally looked away from the house, gazing back and forth between the two men that owned his heart. ''Let's do it''

An overwhelming sense of dread came over Seth as he approached the house. Everything about the place was bringing back memories that he would rather forget. Everything was a trigger, the rooms, the furniture, even the smell and Seth was pretty sure that without Roman and Dean being there with him, he'd be a quivering mess on the floor.

After just over an hour the three of them left the house with a large duffel bag full of Seth's belongings. The drive back was quiet and Roman and Dean had swapped places, Dean opting to drive the three of them back to their Hotel so that Roman could sit with Seth.

''I still think you should have let me start a fire'' Dean announced, cutting thorough the silence

''I don't see how getting arrested for arson would solve anything Dean'' Roman replied

''It would've got rid of that asshole's clothes though wouldn't it'' Dean counted as he chanced a look at the two men in the rearview mirror.

Roman chose not to reply, simply shaking his head instead, smiling slightly. Seth was in a daze, staring out of the window unable to focus on anything as Roman rested his hand on his good leg.

''You alright?'' Roman asked, squeezing his leg slightly

''Yeah'' Seth replied, dragging his eyes away from the window for a second as his gaze landed on Roman ''It was just a lot''

''I know'' Roman replied softly ''But it's over now and you never have to step foot in that house again''

''That's right'' Dean added ''And next week you get to see your mum''

Seth's expression instantly softened, a smile spreading across his face at the thought of going home.

''Are you worried?'' Dean asked as she chanced a look behind him

''Worried?'' Seth asked confused

''Yeah worried that your mum might try and take me from you?'' Dean explained ''From what I can remember she's pretty fond of me''

Roman snorted loudly ''Man you're not half as charming as you think you are''

''I beg to differ. The older ladies love me!!''

Dean's heart swelled as he heard Seth laugh. Mission accomplished he thought with a smile. 


	16. Home sweet home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t usually like to use name of wrestler’s real life partners or family members in my work but for this one i felt like it was necessary

Excitement was bubbling up inside of Seth as his mum's house; and childhood home came into view, nothing but happy memories flooding back to him. Buffalow Iowa was a small city that seemed to be in a time warp. People who lived there still went to the nearest post office to collect their mail, and that's what Seth loved so much about it. It was quite, secluded and although most people who resided there spoke about how they wanted to leave one day, Seth couldn't ever imagine calling anywhere else home.

''Home sweet home'' Seth mumbled as the Roman's car pulled up into the driveway

They had decided to take Roman's car for the two hour journey because Dean's had decided to break down and Roman's had more leg space, which came in handy on a long drive with Seth's leg being in a brace.

''That's right baby boy'' Roman replied with a smile

The three men approached the house and were quickly greeted by Holly, Seth's mum, as shrill barks alerted them to Kevin's presence in the house.

''Come on in boys, how are you?'' Holly said as she greeted both Roman and Dean with a hug and a bright smile ''How have you both been?''

Neither man had seen Seth's mum since they first formed the Shield back in NXT and they exchanged small talk for a few minutes before she turned around to greet her son.

''Here he is!'' Holly beamed as Seth came into view ''Oh let me look at you'' she said as she looked Seth over adoringly ''Oh baby it's been way too long''

''I know'' Seth replied as he was pulled into a tight hug ''I'm sorry it took me so long''

''Don't apologize, you're here now. That's all that matters'' Holly assured

Holly was a petite and sweet woman with a kind and caring nature and with one glance you could see how much she loved her son when she looked at him.

''Hey buddy!!'' Seth cooed as his Yorkshire terrier Kevin came into view, his tail wagging rapidly as he ran towards Seth. ''Oh wow you've grown!!'' Seth laughed as he picked up the little fur ball, smiling as the dog licked his face

''I think he missed you'' Roman said as he smiled at the view

\-----------------------------------------------------

''Really mum! Come on'' Seth complained as Holly stepped into the room with a collection of photo albums tucked under her arm

Everytime anyone came to visit her; outside of the family, she brought out the photo albums, and made sure to point out her favorites, which also happened to be the most embarrassing one's of Seth that she had.

''Ah now this one here has a good story behind it'' Holly said as she pointed to a photo of a 8 year old Seth in his swimming shorts standing next to a paddling pool.

''We used to have this pool in our backyard and he would leave his shorts out there by the pool'' Holly explained as Dean and Roman listened with interest ''He'd dry off with a towel and then walk into the house completely naked. But off course we lived at the bottom of a hill, so people could see him!''

''We had a big fence'' Seth shrugged as Dean and Roman looked up at him with amusement ''It made sense to me''

''Well I think it's adorable'' Dean teased with a sly wink

Seth's mum didn't know about their relationship so the three of them had to be careful what they said and did around her.

After about half and hour Dean and Roman offered to take a still excited Kevin out for a walk so that Seth and his mum could have some alone time, and now Seth and his mum were sitting in the living room, neither one quite knowing what to say.

''I'm sorry Ma'' Seth eventually uttered

''I told you honey, don't be'' Holly replied

''But I am'' Seth said ''I never wanted to cut you off''

''You don't have to explain anything to me sweetheart'' Holly insisted

''I do though. I need you to understand what happened''

''Okay. But only if you're sure'' Holly soothed

Seth nodded ''So as you know things with Randy were great at first. He was so loving and then for some unknown reason he began to change. To begin with it was only when he was drunk. He'd take his anger out on me and beat me up, and then he'd apologize and we'd be back on track, then he'd do it all over again.''

Holly was visibly upset, her heart was breaking as she listened to her son talk about his abusive relationship.

''Despite all this though we still moved in together and looking back at it now, I realize it was just another way of him trying to control me, to get me away from anyone who cared about me. Anyway, shortly after you took Kevin in, he took my phone away from me and started to slowly cut me off from everyone, including you.''

Holly rubbed Seth's arm ''Thing's were pretty bad for a while and one night he uh......well he tried to rape me''

Seth began to cry, the painful memories of what had happened to him creeping back. ''Thankfully though, Roman and Dean were staying in the room just down the hall from ours and they heard me........screaming......and they knocked on the door and got me out of there''

''Oh baby'' Holly whispered as she kissed her son on the cheek

''They took care of me and slowly I've been regaining my confidence. When they found me I was completely broken, both mentally and physically but they've shown me nothing but love and kindness, they've been so great''

''Their good boys'' Holly agreed

''It took me a while but eventually I started to get out and about again and when they asked me where I wanted to go one day, there was only one place I had in mind and that was here'' Seth finished

''Well I'm glad you came baby and I'm glad you got in touch. There wasn't a day that wen't by that I didn't worry about you.'' Holly said ''But you're here now and that's all that matters''


	17. Complex emotions

Seth finished up the last of his meal he couldn't help but smile. He was the happiest he'd been in a long time. He was surrounded by people he loved; and that loved him back and most importunately, he felt safe.

''You done with your plate honey?''

''Oh yeah. Thanks''

Holly smiled down at her son as he blinked and gave her his plate

''You alright baby boy?'' Roman asked as Holly disappeared into the kitchen

The three of them were sat around an Outdoor Fire Pit

''Yeah I'm fine'' Seth replied with a smile ''but I kinda just want to cuddle with you guys, and I can't do that with my mum around''

Roman beamed as Seth's cheeks turned a little pink ''Well maybe we should make a move then'' He suggested

''Okay'' Seth agreed

The three of them stood up and made their way inside. Seth was torn. He wanted to be alone with Roman and Dean but he also didn't want to leave his mum.

''We're gonna go now mum'' Seth mumbled as his mum finished cleaning up the dirty plates

''Oh okay honey'' Holly replied, she tried to sound neutral, but Seth could tell that she was a little upset.

''I'll only be ten minutes away'' Seth assured as he was pulled into a hug ''And I've got my phone back now so you can call me whenever you want''

''Go baby. It's fine'' Holly replied as she kissed him on the cheek

After a brief exchange of pleasantries, the three men left and got into the car, quickly making their way towards Seth's house.

It felt strange to step inside his house again, but strange in a nice way. This was home and Seth smiled as he looked around, finding his mother's touch all around him.

''Oh man, your mum even got us some snacks!'' Dean said as he searched through the cupboards for food

''Dude. You ate not even ten minutes ago!!'' Roman pointed out as he stood next to Seth, placing one of his arms around his waist

''I'm a growing man'' Dean shrugged as he helped himself to some chips ''You still got that fireplace?''

''Oh yeah, should have'' Seth replied ''In the living room''

''Sweeett'' Dean said as he left the room

Dean was a bit of a pyromaniac and both Roman and Seth had learnt not to question his obsession with fire by now.

''That's him entertained for the next few minutes'' Roman observed with a laugh

''Yeah'' Seth replied as he looked up at Roman, his eyes shutting as the older man pressed a kiss onto his forehead

''You missed'' Seth whispered

''Huh?'' Roman said as he locked eyes with the younger man

''You missed'' Seth repeated a little louder

''Oh'' Roman replied as he caught on to what Seth was hinting at ''You're right. I did miss''

Roman's kiss was different from Dean's, but equally as satisfying. The goosebumps were still there, as was the passion, but there's was a stark difference, Roman's kiss was comforting and full of promise. After a few minutes and one last tug of Seth's lips, they broke apart and neither man moved for a moment as they caught their breath. Some time during the kiss Roman had pulled Seth so close to him that Seth's could feel his heartbeat beneath his hand.

''Wow'' Seth uttered

Roman simply smiled, his eyes locking with Seth's as they shared a special moment, Seth resting his head on Roman's chest as an excitable Dean came rushing back into the room.

''Fire's lit'' He declared proudly before disappearing into the living room again

''We better keep an eye on him. I don't like the idea of Dean being alone with an open fire for to long'' Roman said as he reluctantly pulled away from Seth

Seth pouted slightly but agreed with a nod of his head

''Hey cheer up, we can still cuddle on the couch'' Roman added as he took hold of Seth's hand and lead him into the living room.

After a few hours of being wrapped up in Roman's arms, Seth felt his eyes growing heavy and he really should just go to bed, but he didn't want to leave the comfort of the older man's arms.

Roman's smiled as he looked down at the drousey form curled up on his chest. They had joined Dean in the living room and after finding a DVD to watch the three of them were relaxed and happy, with Kevin curled up on Dean's lap and a certain two-toned nerd in his, Roman couldn't imagine anything being any more perfect.

''You alright?'' he asked as he chanced a look at Dean

The younger man had been staring at him on and off for the last half and hour and it was beginning to annoy him

''Yep'' Dean replied as his eyes focused back on the film that was playing

''If you say so'' Roman commented knowingly

He could tell that Dean had something on his mind, he had known him for too long.

After a while Seth began to fidget, his eyes blinking as he woke up

''Hey'' Roman said softly

''Hey. Oh man did I fall asleep again?'' Seth asked as he rubbed his eyes

''Yeah'' Roman answered

''I'm sorry'' Seth replied ''It's all I seem to do lately''

''Don't apologize baby boy, if you're tired you sleep'' Roman assured

''I know but-''

''But nothing'' Roman argued ''Why don't you go to bed. Dean and I will still be here when you wake up and if you need one or both of us to lay with you all you have to do is ask''

It wasn't late, the clock read 7.25pm but Seth couldn't fight sleep any longer

''Alright'' Seth agreed as he stood up, stretching slightly

''Night Sethie'' Dean mumbled as Seth made his way past him

''Night D, Night Ro'' Seth answered as he left the room and made his way into the bedroom.

Seth's house was only one story but Seth was suddenly glad of it when he realized he didn't have to climb any stairs, especially in his current condition

''Are you gonna tell me what's bothering you now?'' Roman asked as he sat up and looked at Dean

''I told you. I'm fine'' Dean answered

''And I've known you long enough to know that you're lying right now'' Roman countered

''I don't know what's wrong with me'' Dean admitted ''Why can't I ever be happy with what I've got?''

''You're talking in riddles'' Roman said

Dean huffed as he stood up, joining Roman on the couch as a testy Kevin jumped down and wen't to find Seth, clearly annoyed with being disturbed

''I've finally got what I always wanted'' Dean explained ''Seth's mutual affection, yet I can't seem to keep my mind free of someone else''

Roman was more than a little confused as he let Dean ramble on

''I mean at first it was just my brain filling my head with ideas you know, possibilities. Then the attraction grew. I'd find myself staring at him, imagining what it would be like to kiss him, how soft his lips would feel.''

''Dean you're confusing the hell out of me'' Roman admitted

''I'm confusing myself'' Dean replied with a bitter laugh ''Trust me I'm just as confused as you are!''

''What-''

''It's you Ro'' Dean admitted


	18. He own's my heart, but you own my soul

''D-''

''It's fine Roman you don't have to say it'' Dean quickly added ''I know you don't feel the same way''

''I never said that'' Roman said ''This is just a lot to take in''

''I know. I've probably ruined everything with my stupid fucking emotions, just when we were starting to get somewhere''

''When?'' Roman asked

''What do you mean when?'' Dean questioned

''Like when did this start?'' Roman replied

''Oh. Well I've always thought you were attractive'' Dean answered ''I mean I don't know if you've looked in the mirror lately Ro, but you're kinda perfect, like a freaking greek god or something. I mean I'm pretty sure half the locker room's got a crush on you at this point but-''

''Dea-''

''Yeah rambling I know, sorry'' Dean continued ''Um okay well I've always found you attractive but Seth own's my heart you know? he always did. But I don't know how to explain it, you own a part of me too''

''Your soul?'' Roman asked

''Yeah!. But how did you know?'' Now it was Dean's turn to be confused

''Because you own mine too'' Roman answered

''You're just saying that-''

''No i'm not. I mean it. We've always gelled so well, our personalities, they just fused since day one and I've always believed we were just meant to be in each other's life.'' Roman explianed

''What are you trying to say Ro?'' Dean asked

''I'm trying to say that I know how you feel'' Roman replied ''I've had those thoughts too. About you I mean. Sure sometimes you drive me mad, but the only two men that have ever made me feel like I truely belong are you and Seth.''

''This is so messed up'' Dean admitted ''I mean how is this ever going to work. The four of us I mean. Why can't things ever be simple?''

''Life would be boring if everything was simple Dean'' Roman pointed out as he reached out and took hold of Dean's hand. ''But we'll work it out''

Dean's heart sped up slightly as he felt Roman's fingers lace with his. These two men were going to be the death of him.

''I guess all of this is a lot harder than I thought it would be'' Dean confessed

''What do you mean?'' Roman asked

''Having Seth so close to me all the time. Not being able to touch him, I know we've kissed but I'm only human and I-''

''I get it'' Roman agreed ''You have needs. I feel it too''

''Like I want to kiss you right now Ro and I feel like an asshole for even thinking about it'' Dean admitted

''Because of Seth?'' Roman asked

''Yeah. I feel like I'm betraying him somehow'' Dean replied

''You can love more than one person at a time you know'' Roman explained ''There are no rules when it comes to love or how many people you can fall for''

''I know but-''

''But nothing'' Roman added ''I miss being able to get intimate with someone. I crave that too. Seth and I, we've kissed but it wasn't enough-''

''Wait. When did you and Seth kiss?'' Dean asked

''When you were lighting the fire'' Roman explained ''We were hugging and I kissed his forehead and it just kinda happened''

''Oh''

''Are you mad?'' Roman asked

''No. Not mad. It's hard to explain, I'm kinda envious'' Dean replied

''Of who me? Cos you've kissed Seth as well-''

''No. I'm envious of Seth'' Dean added

\-----------------------------------------------------

Seth rolled over as he felt Kevin jump onto the bed, settling down beside him.

''Hey buddy'' Seth said quietly as Kevin starred up at him, his tail wagging swiftly ''What kind of man am I Kev?'' he continued ''I can't even sleep without someone being here with me.''

Kevin stood up and licked at Seth's face, obviously sensing his sadness

''Yeah yeah I love you too'' Seth laughed ''Do you reckon Dean or Roman would come and lay with me?'' Seth asked as Kevin yipped excitedly

Seth got off the bed and followed Kevin to the living room, only to be stopped in his tracks by a sight he thought he would never see.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Dean wanted to fight it but he couldn't anymore, his body was would up so tight, his heart was racing. Roman's kiss felt like home. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, everything about this was so wrong, but it just felt so right. His body was acting on it's own, overpowering his brain as Roman wrapped his arms around him, his fingers digging into the fabric of his jeans as he grabbed at his ass. The two of them only pulling apart when they heard movement behind them.


End file.
